“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent van Gogh
If you asked me to paint a picture of a bowl of fruit, the results would be quite comical. That's because I can't paint. Except for when I can.
I wish I could have a conversation with the great Vincent van Gogh. I'd tell him that I frequently tell myself, “I can't paint!” I am very attached to this belief too. It helps me see beyond the roughness of my less than beautiful paintings and keeps me going back for more. It doesn't matter to me that I can't paint. I do it just for fun.
I have no desire to paint something for show or sell. I paint because it connects me with my creativity, brings me fully into the present moment and entertains the heck out of me.
I follow some of my intuitive paintings down a great big rabbit hole and stand back amazed at the places I visit. Other paintings make me mad or sad or both. Some of my paintings are confusing because there is no meaning to be found in them. Other paintings absolutely delight me or help me to understand myself better. There is a big mix of possible outcomes when practicing intuitive painting. The mystery of going toward the unknown is compelling to me. Since I trust my intuition, I know the journey will offer me nuggets of gold in one way or another.
If I ever get to have that conversation with Vincent van Gogh, I'm going to tell him that the act of painting does not silence that limiting voice inside of my head. I've just learned to be with it and keep going.
PS: The above painting started out as a giant stick figure wearing a scarf blowing in the wind. Don't ask me why because I have no idea. As the painting evolved, I saw a little doggie's face in the outline of the paint. Slowly it turned into my dog, Buddy. This painting led me to tap into a whole bunch of the love that I feel for Buddy. It pulled out many joyful tears and reminded me that Buddy is always in my heart. When I look at this painting, I can revisit those moments of the deeply expressed love that came flowing through as I painted this. It's a sweet reminder of going deep into the emotion of love.